Some of you might not relate to this since this is an extremely rare occurrence. But, yes, I am seventeen years old and in my Bachelor's in Utah State University Eastern. Starting at age fifteen I have spent two years in USU Eastern-Price getting my associate's degree. Day in and day out, going to classes and doing the homework all while remaining in the little cove that is my dorm. That has been my life for the past two years and am now doing it all over again with my Bachelor's. For the next fourteen weeks I will be stuck in the campus studying and cramming a four-month course into seven weeks of classes. I thought "Sure, I've done it before. It's no big deal." But then I realized, I'll be taking harder and bigger classes, classes that are supposed to be part of a four month course. But that's the least of my problems.
I'm seventeen years old and now working on my Bachelor's in Accounting. I have spent an approximate total of my life in lecture halls and in people's homes for a few weeks when the semester's out. Those two years combined with the six months this year, I'm starting to feel what I call the "Burnout". I don't know if this is a real thing or not, but a "burnout" is a feeling that you get when you are exhausted from all the workload or labor you put into something. Two years and three months of school, while adding another three has brought my energy level to a near zero. It has reached the point where I don't even know if an Accounting major is the right thing to do. I don't even know what I should be doing! Taking higher-level/specific classes has taken a big toll on me and that burnout is showing that.
When I was younger, it was my goal to be unique. I preferred to stand above the crowd and go beyond the normal standards. At this point in college, I regret it. I have sped through all my classes, aiming to get so far ahead while I still can, only to see so much people looking at me with hopes of more successes. So much anticipation for me to excel in every step of the way. Whenever people look at me in amazement and wonder at how young and how much I have accomplished, I just shrug and look away. I am a high-school aged boy surrounded by nineteen or older people, and I just cannot relate to anybody. I may seem mature and brave and unique on the outside, but at the end of the day, the stress eats me from the inside. I lie at my bed at night staring at the wall how or why did I even agree to this? Why did I choose to be this different? What do I want to do with my life? These questions swirl my thoughts almost every night and it sucks. Today, I do not want to be different, I don't want to meet people older my age who have to reel things back because I am "underage". I want to be a normal teenage boy, spending the time with friends my age who don't have to spend every waking moment taking college courses to get ahead of everybody else.
It does not mean that I have given up. No one should ever give up when they are trying to be who they want to be. But as for me, I don't know who I want to be. I have burned out and am now a heap of ash inside a fireplace. People say that college is the best environment to discover who you truly want to be. I am still hoping to find that. I'm tired of the studying and piles of endless homework. Tired of being called the "youngest person on campus". But, as fate would have it, I have enrolled myself to take more classes in the summer semester. And for all the things I have said above, I may be tired but I have put myself up to the challenge. I will still continue be unique and will go so far that the people behind me will look like peas over the horizon.
I will ENDURE.~ E. Lockhart
I'm seventeen years old and now working on my Bachelor's in Accounting. I have spent an approximate total of my life in lecture halls and in people's homes for a few weeks when the semester's out. Those two years combined with the six months this year, I'm starting to feel what I call the "Burnout". I don't know if this is a real thing or not, but a "burnout" is a feeling that you get when you are exhausted from all the workload or labor you put into something. Two years and three months of school, while adding another three has brought my energy level to a near zero. It has reached the point where I don't even know if an Accounting major is the right thing to do. I don't even know what I should be doing! Taking higher-level/specific classes has taken a big toll on me and that burnout is showing that.
When I was younger, it was my goal to be unique. I preferred to stand above the crowd and go beyond the normal standards. At this point in college, I regret it. I have sped through all my classes, aiming to get so far ahead while I still can, only to see so much people looking at me with hopes of more successes. So much anticipation for me to excel in every step of the way. Whenever people look at me in amazement and wonder at how young and how much I have accomplished, I just shrug and look away. I am a high-school aged boy surrounded by nineteen or older people, and I just cannot relate to anybody. I may seem mature and brave and unique on the outside, but at the end of the day, the stress eats me from the inside. I lie at my bed at night staring at the wall how or why did I even agree to this? Why did I choose to be this different? What do I want to do with my life? These questions swirl my thoughts almost every night and it sucks. Today, I do not want to be different, I don't want to meet people older my age who have to reel things back because I am "underage". I want to be a normal teenage boy, spending the time with friends my age who don't have to spend every waking moment taking college courses to get ahead of everybody else.It does not mean that I have given up. No one should ever give up when they are trying to be who they want to be. But as for me, I don't know who I want to be. I have burned out and am now a heap of ash inside a fireplace. People say that college is the best environment to discover who you truly want to be. I am still hoping to find that. I'm tired of the studying and piles of endless homework. Tired of being called the "youngest person on campus". But, as fate would have it, I have enrolled myself to take more classes in the summer semester. And for all the things I have said above, I may be tired but I have put myself up to the challenge. I will still continue be unique and will go so far that the people behind me will look like peas over the horizon.
I will ENDURE.~ E. Lockhart
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